Cognitive Distortions: An Introductory Exploration
Only hot people struggle with cognitive distortions
We are whole humans. Each one of us. Yet still, some of us find our hearts and minds stricken with anxieties, stressors, and trauma responses based on our past experiences. Personally, my mind will dive into rabbit holes of stories that constrict my ability to see myself as whole. I’ll twist myself, edit myself, and exhaust my social battery for the sake of being “safe,” “understood,” and “accepted.”
How is this possible?
Cognitive Distortions.
What is a cognitive distortion?
“Impulse[s] to excuse or rationalize antisocial actions to avoid responsibility and protect our positive self-perception”1— It is also important to note that scholars across fields do not have an agreed-upon definition for cognitive distortions. So we’re going to use this one.
I have a few preliminary thoughts on cognitive distortions
When we are seeking to define cognitive distortions, I want to caution us all against assuming that cognitive distortions are inherently “bad.” While the scholars who have done the most research on cognitive distortions imply that it is “criminals” who most often bend their minds to excuse their behavior (a.k.a. “pro-criminal attitudes”), I disagree.
They keep us safe. We aren’t born with distorted thinking, we learn these ways of thinking often in our childhood in order to protect ourselves. The distortions may follow us into our adulthoods, and sometimes might lead to harmful behaviors, but not always.
Ok bestie, let’s get into the actual distortions.
I want to first note that some scholars have suggested there are four primary types of distortions: Self-centered, Blaming others, Minimizing/mislabeling, & Assuming the worst. There are many lists of cognitive distortions out there, and it can be hard to distinguish the different types.
Filtering / Selective Abstraction / Reverse Alchemy
Picking and choosing the information to focus on in a way that reinforces the negative and discounts the positive.
ex. Everyone at the party thinks your dress is awesome, but one of your friends told you they thought it was ugly. It must be ugly.
Polarized Thinking / All or Nothing
Being unable/unwilling to see the shades of grey within any given circumstance in a way that neglects the full reality of human experiences.
ex. You’re trying to take a break from drinking alcohol, but you mess up one morning with a mimosa. You may as well drink the whole bottle now!
Over-Generalizing / Labeling / Assuming the Worst
Using words such as “always” or “never,” in a way that limits our ability to see all sides of the situation, or defining someone based on how you are perceiving their behavior in a way that prevents us from seeing them as human and flawed.
ex. “I have been single for awhile now. I will always end up alone.”
Mind-Reading / Jumping to Conclusions / Fortune Telling
Believing you know what someone is thinking or can predict the outcome of an interaction in a way that prevents us from actively communicating.
ex. You’re in conflict with a friend, but you are afraid to speak up because you believe they will reject and abandon you if you’re honest.
Personalization (internal)
Assuming that things that happen around you are all your fault in a way that places an inordinate amount of self-blame for things that aren’t always in our control.
ex. You miss a step on an important case at work, and now you can’t get past the belief that you’re bad at your job.
Control Fallacies / Fallacy of Change / Social Control
Believing that you can behave in a certain way to control the outcome of a situation in a way that assumes there is more weight to our personal doings that there really is.
ex. If I delete social media for a month, people will notice I am missing and check in with me.
Fallacy of Fairness / Being Right
Wanting things in life to follow a certain code of fairness and ethics in a way that places our own ideas of fairness above everyone else.
ex. Your best friend has been spending a lot of time with their partner lately, and feel like it is unfair as your friend to neglect spending time with you.
Blaming (external)
Placing blame for a personal decision on external people or circumstances in a way that neglects our own self-accountability.
ex. I struggle with anxiety in relationships simply because my father abandoned me.
Should / Must
Believing that if things aren’t the way they “should” or “must” be in a way that doesn’t give us the space to experience things differently.
ex. You just went through a breakup and are starting to think about getting out there again, but you don’t because you believe “I should be OK alone.”
Emotional Reasoning
Thinking that your own feelings are fully accurate reflections of the world in a way that gives more weight to our emotional reactions than is helpful or necessary.
ex. Your friend made a social decision you don’t agree with, and all you can think about is ending the friendship and moving on.
I think, in future newsletter, I will go into each one. I plan to talk about how each one develops and tools for navigating and managing these ways of thought.
In the meantime, please consider sharing this post with your friends. It would mean a lot to grow the audience of readers here, and I need your help.
All the best,
Jess
https://pure.uva.nl/ws/files/2363981/157636_435806.pdf